Honoring God in Marriage
Ephesians 5:22-33 - "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Coming off verse 21, Paul gives us further examples of where and how we should submit to one another in a Christlike love. Marriage is a gift of grace from God, created by God and designed to honor Him and His love for us. Marriage dates all the way back to Genesis 2, where the Bible tells us, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." God designed men and women to be together in a marriage covenant with Him. Marriage reflects God's love for us, which is why it is important for a Christian to not follow the ungodly advice about marriage from the world. We must seek biblical truth about marriage in order to truly honor God in our own marriage.
This passage in Ephesians is perhaps the most evident passage of how marriage should reflect and honor God. It starts with being equally yoked. This idea is mentioned by Paul in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and can best be understood by applying the context of what Paul was illustrating. Two animals, often oxen, were joined together by a wooden beam called a yoke. This yoke would be how the two would come together into one force to pull a load. When we join together in marriage, the two people become one flesh. We now represent one new family that will endure the blessings and trials of life together. Whenever you are joined together with an unbeliever, your new family will not be able to entirely honor God and submit to His will for your new life. One person will prioritize the fleshly desires of the world, while the other will prioritize the spiritual matters of eternity. And when difficulty comes, this will mean trouble for the family.
In addition to that basic principle, marriage is between one man and one woman and is designed to be for life. It is not God's will that people break apart what He joins together in a marriage covenant. But how can we make sure our marriage remains strong and glorifies God?
Pick the right partner.
Who you marry is super important. Find someone who loves God and longs to serve Him. Looks and physical attraction are absolutely important, but they are nowhere near as important as the heart and faith of the person you are marrying.
Men, step up and lead.
It is a biblical principle that a man should step up and lead his family in a way that honors God. Passive men who do not want that responsibility are not ready for marriage. We are called as men to love our wives as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He did hard things for her. He gave up His comfort and glory to suffer and die for her that she may be eternally blessed by His efforts of love. Men, are you comfortable and not going the extra mile for your wife? It's time to get uncomfortable and love your wife with a selfless passion that reflects Christ's love for us. Lay down your own interests and desires so that hers may be fulfilled, and watch as God richly blesses your marriage. It is important to marry a woman willing to submit to her role as a Godly wife, because marrying someone who will not fulfill God's role for her means your efforts to lead will be in vain.
Women, submit to the headship of your husband.
Biblical submission in marriage is not a sign of weakness or inferiority, but of love for God and your husband. A domineering wife who takes charge of everything in the family does not give the husband, who is trying to sacrificially love you, a chance to fulfil his God-given role. God sees men and women as equals. But He did establish roles for men and women from the beginning. Women came alongside men to be the perfect helper for men. The Lord knew that men could not steward His creation well without the support and help of a woman. This same principle is true today. Many men would cease to exist and die of starvation if not for their wife. When you think of submitting to your husband, think of how the church submits to Christ. We no longer go about doing our own thing however we see fit. We trust that He will provide and care for us beyond our ability to provide or take care of ourselves. This is why it is important to marry a God-honoring man, because submission to a man who is not a Christian will lead you to destruction.
At the end of the day, a marriage thrives and honors God when the husband and the wife both love God and both love each other. Through reading the Word and praying deeply, the couple will begin to be led by the Spirit into their natural roles, which will bless them, their children, and their grandchildren. A Christian marriage reflects Jesus Christ (as the husband) and the church (His bride). There is a world watching that may never enter a church or hear the Word taught, but how you act as a married couple is a strong witness to them about the love that God has for them.
